Life In Need Of Realignment

So since my last post I've decided to switch my major to double major in journalism and french instead of architecture. And because I can only switch next semester, not right now, I must finish my arch courses even though they're pretty much pointless. And this is creating the biggest lapse in work ethic that I think I've ever had in school. I haven't attended a single class for over a week! I feel horribly guilty, and yet I keep on not going to studio because I don't think I have enough to show Michael (my handsome professor) and not disappoint him. Although I also keep putting off actually doing any work at all so that doesn't help but still I'm going to be soo soo behind it'll be ridiculous and embarrassing and I just wish that all of my classmates wouldn't be there for it cuz I don't know if I can handle all of their "where have you been" questions! I know this is the kind of thing that I should own up to, but still I feel like there's no explanation that I can possibly give - uh, I just wasn't feeling it for OVER A WEEK? I don't want to lie and say that I was depressed, but I'm tempted to. No, one should never lie about their mental state, that's borderline criminal! Today I did a little bit better becuase instead of being entirely lazy, I exercised. I'd like to say that I'm just trying harder now, but what it really is is that like ten ppl from the organization I'm in all had dinner together last night and there are some attractive boys in the mix who I don't always see on the regular, but once I do see them it's like this motivational boost to stay healthy. I am still on that whole foods thing but I accidentally found a dangerous loophole - I eat tons of rice! Like so much, and then I tell myself I'll work out later but then I don't. So that's a problem. I often eat beyond when I feel full and I just don't know why - out of boredom, and that kind of state where you're so disappointed in yourself that you decide why not keep disappointing yourself, which no one thinks makes sense but I'm sure a lot of people do. Anyway, those handsome boys made me rethink, and even though it's 2:30AM and I still haven't exactly started working yet, I've gotten closer to starting than I have in over a week. Man am I a sad person! But I'm just choosing to trust that the only reason I'm being this degree of lazy is that I'm changing my major - call it an excuse but it's my only hope. If that's not the case then I'm a walking crisis! I need to be able to motivate myself for personal reasons and not just act based on boys - I so thought I was done with that! I think that for me there's a correlation between the times I feel fat and the times I crave boys' attention - I crave it when I don't think I'm getting it. I just need to not desire it at all! But that's a hard thing isn't it?