What Guides Our Big Life Decisions?

I'm shocked sometimes by the choices people other than me make in life. But that's kind of a given, isn't it? We're each ourselves, so necessarily, we don't know why other people do what they do. 

Everyone has a different order of priorities when it comes to making decisions. For me, big life decisions first have to answer yes for this question: will this be good for my mental health? This initial question hasn't exactly served me well in life in every instance. I'm not fully employed right now, and this has something to do with it.

But other people might not even ask themselves about their mental health when deciding things. Maybe their first question is, "Will this make me a lot of money?" Or, "Will this make me look good to those I might date?" The questions we start with are shaped by our current circumstances, but also our past experiences. I ask about mental health because I have several people in my family with a range of mental health issues, and often when I decide something, I'm trying to make sure I avoid things that might lead me to worse mental health as a result. 

But other people don't have such issues in their family or social group, or at least they aren't aware of them. So this strategy never crosses their mind. Likewise, I have not experienced having a lot of money, so the question of money strangely doesn't loom large for me. 

What can seem obvious to one person can appear as perverse incentives to another. Why would someone move across a country for a high-paying job in a leading industry? From my eyes, surely such an upheaval would lead to a complete loss or abandonment of self. But for someone who never thinks about mental health? 'It's to make enough money to quell my anxiety about life'. There might even be a sense of 'I don't know what kind of life I want, but I know I need a change'.

All changes in life lead to a change in the self. I'm (unfortunately) hyper-aware of this at all times. It is unhelpful to be overly aware. But to be completely unaware of this phenomenon can mean we assume the self will hold as we make changes to our setting, lifestyle, social circle, and everything else. 

The thing is, to know and see all of these effects is crazy-making and overwhelming. It can cause one to freeze in life for fear of steering one's self off a cliff (figuratively). So, however self-aware I am (and it's not a virtue), it only serves me if it's in the correct proportion. And it certainly doesn't mean I can judge others for their decisions.