The Utility Of Dreaming At Night

I just finished the book The Dallergut Dream Department Store by Miye Lee, which was the first Korean book I've read. The book was quite charming and written efficiently, which suits my taste. A few weeks ago, when I brought the book to my eye appointment, the doctor asked about it, and I told him, "It's like Inception, but if it was all cutesy". This is a major simplification, but it came to mind because Inception is one of my favorite movies, and the concept of a dream world has stuck in my mind as being infinitely fascinating ever since I saw the film for the first time.

The plot is less emphasized than the themes are, which I haven't experienced much in a book. Most of my adult reading has been either non-fiction or novels picked for book clubs, so more thematic pieces haven't been crossing my proverbial desk. 

I'm not sure how much I believe in the power of dreams to guide us through life(which is only briefly touched on in the book), but they can definitely inspire us. To talk to a person we didn't know was on our radar, to address emotional baggage we've been putting off, to admit to ourselves that we have a fear we haven't come to terms with. 

I had an ex who I'd dated for a year, and for several months after the breakup, he'd appear in my dreams. Various scenarios involving me being jealous, me wanting to know how he was, me being surprised and embarrassed to run into him. Then one day, I had a dream that I ran into him at a party, and I was unaffected, and simply asked him how life was. We had a pleasant exchange and parted ways, and I woke up realizing I was truly over him. I think in life it can be hard to admit to ourselves whether we're past something or still clinging to it; we put on a front for friends, and if there's lots of pain, we can even put up a front for ourselves. In this arena, I believe that dreams cannot lie. In this season of my life, my dreams were the true barometer for how "past it" I was. Sometimes I'd wake up embarrassed that I was still at the jealousy stage in my dreams, but I also woke up with useful information. "I've got more healing to do."

Everyone has relationships that end in a way that never gets resolved emotionally. Old friends who we decided to not reach out to anymore. Sometimes the only healing that can happen there is the kind you might experience in a dream. But these dreams can contain false notions, right? That the person is indeed still fond of you, when in reality you have no clue how they feel.

But at that point, we're tapping into the time-worn truth of how religions function (bear with me). When you believe a thing, even if it's not true, your psychological experience can improve, which can then radiate into your entire life. As a non-religious person, I've spent years trying to deny that it works this way, but alas. The truth we harbor in us is often more important than whatever concrete truth exists.

So is it irresponsible to trust in your dreams, then? And believe that that friend you no longer see remembers you fondly, just as you do them, because you talked in a dream and it turns out the vibes are still good? I think surely not. Now, should we make big life decisions based on a dream? The jury's still out. But for all the healing that has to take place regarding the myriad of people who pass in and out of our lives, it couldn't hurt.