The Past Is In The Past!

I'm finally starting to be able to let go of my constant daydreaming about my now 'old flame'. Let me just make a disclaimer up front in case it isn't already known: I've never been in a real relationship before, so this is/was it for me so far. But I think the inexperienced girls like me have the hardest time NOT thinking about boys. My recent drift from my habit of dwelling on the past might be caused by how busy I've been with school and assignments and such. If one has no time to lie awake for hours before falling asleep, one cannot daydream. Or it might be because I've been trying (and I think at least somewhat succeeding) to take my relationship with God more seriously; it is, after all, the most important relationship we'll ever have, isn't it? So hopefully it's more of the second reason, because that would mean that I'm actually getting somewhere. I can't know the inner workings of other people's hearts, so I am not sure if others struggle as much as me with breaking bad habits and forming new better ones. BUT I think that might be the tragic flaw of my personality. I'm a procrastinator by default, a rather notorious one at that, and I think that kind of plays into my devotion to God some of the time. Oh, I can read the Bible LATER, I'll pray LATER on tonight. Isn't that everyone's problem with God, at least on a bigger time frame? I'll do what I want now, and when I'm old, and I should start going to church, I will. So that's been my struggle pretty much my whole life, and just now, I think I might be in the middle of changing for the better. I find myself praying constantly; as they say, prayer should be more of a state of mind than just a five minute time slot. If that doesn't mean anything, I don't know what does! At any rate, maybe all of this means I'm finally getting over that boy who came into my life and is once again out of it, because obviously God doesn't want us hung up on relationships from which nothing will ever develop. God doesn't want us thinking and desiring boys or men when that is not where our hearts should be. My cousin told me once, that a relationship is like a triangle: you, them, and God. And the closer each of you get to God, the closer you get to each other, until you 'meet in the middle'. I ponder that time to time, always recognizing that I could be carrying that out in my life better than I am, but also wondering what all that entails. I try my best, but diligence has never been my strong point. However true that may be, I can't let it hold me back from really striving for a firm foundation in Christ. I think I'm slowly moving toward that point, and I think letting go of my memories of that sweet boy and accepting that it's all in the past now will not only be good for me, but good for my relationship with God. Isn't this the number one downfall of Christian youth? To set their eyes on a person and put them before God? I hope I never fall back into that pit; though I never considered myself idolizing the guy, I know that there are nobler conquests to pursue.